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  1. Decisions are not made without the future understanding of the main question why. Everything that we do everyday has pressing questions of before we get to that point. This article analyzes that without these questions you will not have a decision at the end of the day. I interpreted this pretty deeply because I thought that if I am in my head the whole day then that is me contemplating a decision instead of just doing it. While this is a good thing that I contemplate decision, it can also be seen as bad because I do not just go with my gut instincts. It is the gut instincts that I am told that will either pay out in the end or destroy you and take all your money which I believe to be fully true now. I do not want to ask these questions ahead of time before I make my decision. Instead, I want to be confident in myself to produce and be the strong women I want to be. In a way if you think, the questions majority of the time have to do with what the other person thinks of you or how they will react. Instead of relating to the cause at hand. It is a 50/50 shot when it comes to having the thought pertaining to yourself or the other person, but 100 percent of the time it will involve you being the person that has to react next. Once you make a choice to question all the factors leading up to the main topic it is then to be asked “what is the cost to you?” If you are going to make a decision that affects you the most then it is likely you will not follow through. It is the people in life that go against there thoughts and still take the risk of a negative factor that will be one of few. It is programed in human nature that we do not want to harm ourselves or others in any negative way. With this being said, why are we scared to do the wrong thing and question everything leading up to that point.

  2. Everyday, people live their lives faced with questions that they do not speak about because they are so accustomed to answering these questions without much thought. The article puts these questions into words and called them the “Unspoken Questions”, which caught my attention before I even started reading the article. Something I noticed in particular about these questions is they all revolve around the effect of a decision to others. There were questions involving friends, family, and even work place bosses. This lead me to believe that many decisions we make are based on how we may affect other people in our lives. Some questions Seth raised were personal questions as well, such as “Is this good for me right now” and “Will this make me feel dumb”. This made me realize that some people make decisions based on how they think people will react to them. Some people, such as myself, do not really care about what other people think about them, and this has lead me to make poor decisions in the past. In some ways, not caring about that factor is a good thing because you are more likely to take risks and make life more interesting. The people who “think before they speak” care about what people think about them and this is a quality that can benefit them throughout their lives. I am a big believer in “you come first”, meaning whatever decisions you make should be done after you thought about how you feel and how the results may be affecting you. I like how Seth added the last question, “How much does it cost.” No matter what decisions are made, there is always a cost or sacrifice involved in said decision, good or bad. I have learned in my life how to handle decisions and to pick out who or what is affected in both outcomes. It is common sense and a part of human life to worry about others and to not purposely hurt others in our choices. The real question is, why do some people make decisions that intentionally hurt others, even though the decision was made by the person for their own gain?

  3. I think this post raises some interesting questions. We often get so caught up in our own day to day lives, that we forget what our overall goals are. Our career and life aspirations may regress into more short term goals, like pleasing a boss at a job we don’t really care about, or missing out on important milestones in order to pursuit more short term goals like finishing a minor assignment or doing a task that can be completed later. We are constantly faced with hard decisions at every turn, and these decisions may obscure what we are after. Additionally, it may be hard to determine whether you are living out the goals of somebody else, or if you are personally driven to achieve something. For example, you may work your entire life to become extremely wealthy, only to realize that it cost you a family, and countless precious memories that were never made.
    The article also mentions that we rarely verbalize these goals, even to ourselves. This makes it difficult to critically think and prioritize these goals, or even develop them in the first place. Additionally, we do not get to evaluate whether we are asking the right questions in the first place. A question like, “will it make me feel dumb” will be largely irrelevant next year or even the next day, but we ask these questions without even realizing it, which leads our ultimate goal to become obfuscated.
    In today’s modern world people are also faced with a much larger amount of questions and choices than they would have been even 5 years ago. Do I want to drive to the store to pick something up, or do I get it delivered to my house from across the country at a higher price? The modern world allows for many more choices, which in turn opens many more opportunities to choose the wrong path. This means that making the right choice requires much more self-control, making the fruits of those choices more exclusive. I think it is important we verbalize these questions, especially at a young age, because our answers to these questions will have a larger impact now, than they will at any other point in our lives.

  4. When I was entering college I was asking myself most of these questions because I did not want to be viewed by my peers in the wrong way and I did not want to stick out. For the unspoken questions regarding other people’s opinions, I have come to realize that it really does not matter. I think growing up in a high school where everyone’s business was everyone’s business it was refreshing to realize this when I came to college. I grew up in a town that was not very diverse so being in a new atmosphere where being unique is valued instead of criticized I loved.

    I have learned that communication with peers and family members really helps with transitioning into university life and making decisions that will impact my future. Many of the questions presented in the blog are things that would make an anxious person like myself re-think where I am plus everything I want to do in life. I think the best option for someone who constantly asks themselves these questions is to just step back and analyze the situation because wouldn’t you want to be someone who you personally would want to be around? There are qualities in the people we surround ourselves with that also reside in ourselves are the qualities we want to present to strangers who know nothing about us because they are strong and innate within ourselves. The questions regarding future work including what a boss may think of you in a situation or if you will get blames or if there is a shortcut are all important to think about, however, the deeper the questions that make you reflect on yourself, the more anxious you may be with the outcome (my personal experience). However, for others, the reflection period may be more rewarding because of everything you have learned about yourself including what you value.

  5. I can recall asking myself a multitude of these questions ever since high school, and I cannot foresee myself stopping anytime soon. A lot of the time when I make big decisions, I begin to suffer from a variety of analysis paralysis. I try to gain too much information and answer too many questions about the problem or situation in which I must make a decision, sometimes to the point where I am stalled to manufacture a solution or render a judgment. Since attending Seton Hall, this has begun to subside, however, there is still a large part of me that struggles to make decisions because of the consequences it may have on myself or others. In his article “The unspoken questions,” Seth Godin presents some of these questions that I ask myself.

    A slight variation of one of the non verbalized questions is “Will this make my brother proud of me?” While I also want to make my mother proud, I strive to achieve success in honor of my older brother who passed away in August of 2015. I always question my actions or decisions by asking myself whether I am doing something that he would approve of or something that would make him proud of me. In most cases, when the answer is yes, whatever decision I make moves me in the right direction or towards success. Despite being one of the unspoken questions, I believe that this one, in particular, has been useful in protecting me from undesirable situations or scenarios. The only time it has not is when I am unsure of the answer to the question in the first place.

    A question that has had a more negative effect upon me is “Will this make me feel dumb?” There have been many times where I did not speak up or do something in fear of looking dumb in the eyes of my peers and myself. This has cost me plenty of opportunities where I could have stood out or impressed someone important, such as at a networking event, a professor in class, or someone I may want to become friends with. While I know many people who suffer the asking of this same question, I believe that it stems from a fear of failure and rejection. The best way I have strived to overcome the feeling and question of dumbness is to try to put myself in uncomfortable situations and not caring what others may think (to an extent). Furthermore, learning to be able to laugh at me has helped me to be more comfortable with others and to not feel as dumb when putting myself out there.

  6. I found this article to be very interesting. Before anyone makes a decision, they run through questions head to think about what to do and what impact the decisions will have. The author lays out all the questions that someone runs through their head before making a decision. The first question that I thought was important was, “what will I tell my friends?” Everyone considers what their peers will think of them when making a decision that may not be considered normal. I think people who ask themselves this question before making a decision are somewhat insecure. It is hard to not care what others think about you, but real friends stick by you no matter what. The next question that I thought was important was, “what is everyone else doing?” This question personally never runs through my head because I am not a follower. Yes, a lot of people fall to peer pressure or may make a decision because everyone else is doing something, but that is no way to make a decision. I always try to be a leader and do not base my decisions off what other people are doing. The third question I thought was important was, “does it help my family?” This question is something everyone should consider before making an important decision. Family should always come first over basically everything. I personally always want to represent my family in a good way, so I always think about this question before making any important decision. This question relates to another question the author provided, “will this make my mom proud?” Like I said want to represent my family well and also want to make them proud. I never want to disappoint my mom and my dad so I always take in mind what they will think of things I do. Another important question is, “is it safe?” No one should do things that could put their well-being at risk. There is nothing wrong with taking risks and living life to the fullest, but a person needs to take into consideration how safe their action is. I found this article very interesting and honestly did not realize how many questions we ask ourselves before we do something. Taking a step back and evaluating before making a decision is smart and is something I will definitely do going forward. Being impulsive is dangerous and usually leads to bad life decisions.

  7. This article caught my eye due to the very captivating title “The Unspoken Questions.” When I read through it I was met with some weird emotions, I feel like I ask these questions to myself on a daily basis. A few years back I was struggling with a bit of anxiety, which I have learned to cope with. Any time when I would have to make a big decision a million questions like these would flood my mind and I really wouldn’t know what to do. It could have been something trivial and sometimes it would still happen. But I came to realize that is what happen when you start to make big decisions, you are always supposed to give more thought than less to these type of questions. “Would my mom be proud of me?” Is something that pops into my head before I do anything, and it pretty much has made me turn away from every could have been bad decision I could have made in my life because I’d just think about how disappointed her or my father would be if I ended up hurt whether it be mentally or physically. They are the people that have taught me to ask myself these questions before I do things so the least I can do is keep them in mind That combined with “Is this good for me right now?” is essentially how I live my lifestyle, if my mom wouldn’t be proud and the thing in question also might not be the greatest thing for me at the moment, I will turn it down. “What is everyone else doing?” Is also a very important question especially when it comes to being here at college. If everyone else is doing drugs are those really the people you want to be hanging out with? These questions usually enable sub-questions to pop into your brain and sometimes I have spiraled a little bit with these. It goes from “what is everyone else doing?” to “why am I hanging out with people doing this?” to “should I find a group of friends who partake in safer activities?” These are all questions that I have asked myself throughout the beginning to now in my time at seton hall. I feel glad to know that I ask myself these questions because it makes me feel like I have good judgement. I try to surround myself with people who are responsible with their time and what they put in their bodies so I am responsible with those things too. These questions seem like some that somebody would ask themselves when they are being peer pressured into doing something. I have fallen to peer pressure and I regret it to this day. Take it as a sign if you are questioning something you are about to do it means your gut doesn’t feel right doing it and that maybe it’s a good idea to back down from this particular task. Taking that one last second to rethink what you are doing could mean all the difference.

  8. You could probably write a ten page paper on this article. It is so broad and open to interpretation, but form some reason I know exactly what the author was talking about. When making decisions, all of the conditioning you have gone through in your life take into effect and affect the outcome of that decision. Sometimes we think we are deciding based on our free will but in reality we might never be. That is a philosophical question is meant for huge research paper, not a blog comment. This summer and over the quarantine I have spend a lot of time simply thinking about society and how I was raised, and how other people are raised in different ways. There were so many aspects of life that I believed that were simply not true of I was looking at it in a filtered lens. I think anyone who has “broke their conditioning” and is thinking fully independent is a fool. While I recognized things about how I was raised that I corrected and how society is wrong, but I think there are things that are so deeply embedded in us that we will never even realize that it is conditioning. That then begs the question is that deep conditioning is actually what makes you independent, and in that case conditioning would add to your character. That is the problem with this article because you could literally choose the definition of independent you want, and that is why I said it could be a large paper. I do not know if I was supposed to go this deep into the article, but it is where my mind went. A lot of times I like to think that I do not care what other people think of my decisions and that I make decisions solely for myself, unless I am helping someone. I do not think that is true anymore. There are so many subconscious questions that we ask ourselves and we do not even notice. I wonder if it is possible to make a truly independent decision, but in order to do that you would have to have no conditioning, and that is impossible to ever know.

  9. After reading this article, not only was I intrigued and very thankful, but I realized that I have been thinking about these unspoken questions ever since I was little. These questions tend to pop up when I am in big situations or make big decisions. At first, I thought that these questions were effective usually when I did something bad or got in trouble. This may be true, especially when I was younger, because everything I did was so that I would not get in trouble from my parents. For example, when I was in fourth grade, I would not want to go to baseball practice, and rather play basketball or stay at my friend’s house. However, morally, I knew that if I did not go, I would get in trouble by my parents because that is the choice I eventually made, which my parents paid for. Although I said that these questions were relevant, even in my younger ages, I kept thinking about these questions, and realized that most of them were common in high school. I think these questions are good to think about, because it keeps you morally fit. The fact that I am worrying whether or not my family will be upset, or thinking about whether or not I should be in a certain situation allows me to believe that I am cautious and careful about my life. I am not saying that people who do not think about this are not careful, but those people tend to be more laid back and seriously about things. Although I believe every college student has thought about these questions in their past, I truly believe that this is a natural and common way of thinking. I am also shocked that these questions or this topic has not been brought up more often. I never really think about talking about these questions, but after reading it, it makes me realize the situations or decisions I made, whether they were good or bad; it made me realize that these questions are good to think about before making a decision, and is common as well.

  10. This article was very interesting to me because I related to it on a person level. Personally, I have asked myself almost the same series of questions throughout high school and when entering college at Seton Hall. Ever since I entered college my mindset has grown in a completely positive direction. Entering college, I was worried about meeting new people and the first impressions that people here would have of me based off of what I look like or my personality. As the months and years passed by I began to realize that other people’s opinions of you are not going to matter and do not matter. I began to focus on things that will have an effect on me in my future rather than focusing on the present. I often used to ask myself the question, “What is everyone else doing?” Instead of being a follower and waiting on everyone else to be ready I started making myself more independent and doing things by myself and what I was interested in doing.
    Communicating with others was a very essential factor in changing my mentality and the way that I look at things. I came to the realization that without communicating with those around me it would have been very difficult to transitions smoothly into a university. Often the main problem why people do not speak up about how they are feeling is because they are shy, or they feel that they are alone, and no one can relate to the way that they are feeling. This can relate to the pandemic because everyone is experiencing the same kind of thing, so no one feels alone talking to one another. Similar to these unspoken questions, everyone feels this way at one point in their life so communicating with others that are going through the same change as you can be essential to helping you better yourself and your way of living.
    One thing I constantly ask myself before doing something or making a big decision is “Would my grandma be proud of me?” My grandma was my best friend before she passed away and being that she is not here anymore I need to make sure that everything that I am doing is the right thing to do and that she will be proud of me when she is looking over me. I often think that asking myself this question has steered me away from being in situations that I did not want to be in. Speaking to yourself and thinking through your decisions before you make them is one of the most important and overlooked thing that you must do in life in order to be successful.

  11. This semester I’ve been looking forward for more posts on Seth’s blog. The posts pose interesting questions and are usually eye-opening. They usually include new topics that I hadn’t yet thought of. This instance however is a different type of post. It’s almost artistic in a way. Just looking at the post, the format is different. Seth seems to just pose a bunch of questions. Upon actually reading the article, I find the idea of unspoken questions interesting. I always felt that there’s a sort of intuition that we all have, that I am able to weigh out the options of a choice almost instantaneously. Though only happening sometimes, we are all faced with these choices. If we spent all the time in the world sitting on every choice we have and weighing out the pros and cons of every little choice, we’d have no free time. Though it may be beneficial for us in most instances to think out what we are about to do, most of the time our time seems to take precedent, and we tend to make impulsive and sometimes irrational decisions. However, what’s interesting is that we can also make quick choices by weighing out these options subconsciously. We tend to ask ourselves certain questions when making decisions. These questions weigh out these pros and cons. Seth lays out many of these questions. Some of them are: Does it help my family? Will this help me be a part of a group I care about? Would my mom be proud of me? Is it thrilling? Is there a shortcut? Does it raise my status? These are all very interesting questions. However, when I read this, it seems like the implied action Seth is referring to is something bad, like doing drugs, stealing, cheating, etc. When contemplating an action such as this, it is paramount to think out your action and ask these questions. Though we as humans are inherently selfish, we can sometimes look to the ones we love for guidance and inspiration, to not take that pill, to not steal from that store, to not cheat on your significant other. If we think something like “would mom be proud of me?” you would surely know the answer, and it may sway you to do the right thing. This is an interesting topic to think about.

  12. Decisions is what all interaction, actions, and thoughts come down to. Nobody can do something without making a decision to do it or making a decision to do something leading up to that point. Choices are the most important part of our life and the problem is that when we are thinking about what choices we will be making, it all comes down to how we feel it will influence our future or the people around us. Never do we ask ourselves the questions listed by Seth but rather we let our brain sit and think about them consciously or subconsciously. A good example of these questions being used is when a kid is deciding where they will go to college. We have questions to answer proposed by others and even state some of the questions we have about it to others. But nobody sits and says out loud “What will my parents think?” or “Does it help my family?”. These questions go unspoken but can be the largest leading answers to the decision made. You think about the answers and if you feel its best for your family and your parents will be proud you will choose to go there. But if the answers are different you will narrow it out without even knowing the real answers from your parents, but because it is a question you think about within yourself you infer an answer and assume its right. The questions are all used to weigh the pros and cons of every choice we wind up making in our lives. Personally, I ask myself thousands of questions in my head about everything, while I don’t believe I tend to overthink things I value different questions as more important but also need the input from the others to put together the best choice for myself. If we didn’t ask ourselves these questions decisions would all be simultaneously made without thought and I cannot say how the world would look but I do know when I make decisions without thinking, the majority of them do not work out as best as they could have.

  13. This article particularly caught my eye do to the very appealing title “The Unspoken Questions”. But to my surprise, the article literally consisted of just questions. The interesting part is that I ask myself most of these questions on a daily basis. I enjoyed this article as it was short yet extremely effective. This article is effective as these are questions you should be asking yourself daily. The questions help you think things through and if you answer these questions before you do something, it will definitely help your decision making skills. Thinking about the positives and negatives of your actions before you do them is extremely important and useful as if the negatives outweigh positives, you probably should not be doing whatever it is you are doing. The one question that stuck out to me was “Will it make the pain go away?” I particularly thought this question was interesting as it is completely different from any of the other questions on the list. It is also the question I can relate to a lot because at the beginning of lockdown I was depressed and was doing things to that I thought would take the pain and stress away, but in reality it ended only making things worse. I should have been looking to do things that actually made me happy and lively instead of things that would I thought would help. I grew insecure and was constantly questioning and changing myself to try not to be judged by my peers. However, questions similar to these analysis questions helped me then because I was able to access my situation and what was best for me. It ended helping me a lot and I grew a lot and learned a lot about myself during this time. Similarly, I asked these questions during college to access my situation, and how I maximize myself and my decision making. Doing this lead to me organizing my time and creating a schedule. This allowed me to optimize my time, and it all came from me taking a step back and evaluating my situation with questions similar to the one’s in the article. All in all, I enjoyed this article and how it is extremely effective to just analyze and evaluate your situation before making any decisions.

  14. This was one of my favorite blogs by Seth. The author of this article hit the nail on the head with the examples he chose to emphasize the topic of discussion. In my life, although only being nineteen-years-old, I have asked myself nearly every single one of these questions. As matter of fact, I used to suffer from poor decision-making habits. For instance, take a younger me and throw some money in the equation. I was a mess with cash. If I had $100, I had to spend it, despite not knowing what to spend it on. One time, it was Black Friday and I went shopping with my parents. For years, I had anticipated the day I had a few bucks to spend on a great deal the morning after Thanksgiving, so this was hyped up in my head for quite some time now. Depressingly, the day came and I was not prepared for the disappointment I would experience once I realized I could not find any good deals. Scavenging the crowded, emptied aisles of Best Buy struck a chord in me; it made me realize how dependent I was on getting rid of what little money I had, simply because I thought having money meant you need to spend it. I became so stressed that it ruined the entire day.

    My relationship with currency is much better, now. It took some time and discipline to become financially responsible. In a way, the Justice of today would call the Justice of half a year ago fairly unwise in money-spending habits. I used to make quite a lot of it for a seventeen-year-old working at flea markets and delivering food for DoorDash. This entrepreneurial spirit of mine really blossomed into consuming my daily habits with aspirations of making it large one day. Even the entertainment I watched had to become business-related, so I took to watching clips of Shark Tank. Kevin O’Leary once said, “Don’t cry for money because it won’t cry for you.” That was the exact moment I promised myself that I would not let it control me, anymore. I took control of financial habits, and made sure that every decision I would make could not tear me apart, emotionally. So, when it comes to asking these unspoken questions, the topics are usually something not related to finance because of how confident I am in it. It is best to live life without any regrets. I once heard from somebody, although I forget who, that the biggest regrets in our lives are actually acts of omission, meaning the paths we didn’t take. This makes more and more sense, the older I get. Hopefully, I will stop asking these questions and just do more. Always think about it. But still do it. Take more risks. Live freely. Do not fear the unknown.

  15. Everyday in life we question ourselves and wonder what will happen and what the future holds and how we will keep going in our life. For example this pandemic nobody knew about and it just hit us, it was like a storm that nobody knew hit us and isn’t going away, but people still see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are strong, everyone is strong and its all mental toughness, we have to be aware of the fact and take care of the what we are capable of, we cant afford to look and keep waiting for the future, because the one thing we cant get back is time, and once we lose time we cant get that time back or day back. Also we want to focus for what’s at steak now and take care of what we can and everything else will fall into place. i ask myself everyday, ” did I get better in basketball today” and I just keep working hard and keeping my dream of making it to the NBA alive. That’s what I can control, did I put the work in, did I pass my tests or exam, did I study, that’s what I control and I do all those things, I’m happy with the position I put myself in to succeed. If I do everything the right way and know that I gave my all 100% I cant go wrong with that because I cant sell myself short, and me knowing I left my all out there I don’t want to have any regrets, and regrets are the worst in life, because that’s what happens when someone that didn’t work hard was lazy or something and that cannot be me.

  16. Unspoken Questions, as the article is named after, are shown as questions that people do not speak about due to being so accustomed to answering them without thinking too intensely about it. These questions always revolve around the actions and decisions of people. Many people make decisions based on how they think it will affect those close to them and those around them. They may feel that they will look poorly or negative to those around them. Some people are very analytical about responses while some people simply say the first thing that comes to mind. Some people may be more centered on themselves while others may prioritize the actions and affects on others

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