Bel Pesce: 5 Ways To Kill Your Dreams

from TED

All of us want to invent that game-changing product, launch that successful company, write that best-selling book. And yet so few of us actually do it. Brazilian entrepreneur Bel Pesce breaks down five easy-to-believe myths that ensure your dream projects will never come to fruition.

More here.

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  1. Everyone has dreams- it is a human expectation, a reality that many wish and fantasize about, but very few achieve. While many of us just try and try for success, we often overlook the fact as to why this mystical realm of success is never made into a reality. Well, want to destroy your dreams? Then follow these simple 5 rules: Believe in overnight success, believe that someone else has the answers for you, believe that you should settle down once growth is guaranteed, believe the fault is someone else’s, and believe that the goals themselves are the most important thing.
    Depending on the way you follow these simple rules, either success or failure will come about. Follow these by the literal translation and you will eventually be in the same spot you are in now; follow them for what Bel Pesce is going at- and you have finally completed your mission.
    Often times, people look at start-up apps, websites, and inventions that are labeled as an overnight success and never read the true facts; there is never an overnight success. Inventors, entrepreneurs, and like-minded individuals all sacrifice time, money, resources, and family to achieve what they have. The first step is stray away from the notion that you can build Rome in a day and instead invest everything you have into making that dream a reality.
    If you have dreams it is up to you to make them happen- not your teacher, not an elite business tycoon, not your parents. It is solely the mind of the individual, the creator of the work, to get it done. Too often do people- like myself- play the blame game and land it on others. Blaming the lack of time, knowledge, resources, or team and ultimately lamenting on the passed opportunity gets people nowhere and this is something that needs to be recognized.
    Another point that stuck with me is believing that the only things that matter is the dream itself. The journey is extremely difficult and can often deter someone from achieving it. This is the point of the dream- it is supposed to be something that is perceived to be unobtainable but upon further review, there is more to it. Life is all about the journey- not just the goal and dream itself. Achieving the dream is momentary- life is not. The only way to appreciate the dream is to enjoy and embrace the journey and often times you trip during these journeys; but those trips are simply learning steps that enable you to reach your end goal. Each achievement is an incentive to do more, to continue to strive for a greater dream.
    I enjoy watching Ted Talks on my spare time, but this will probably stay with me for a very long time. Both educational and inspirational, this Ted Talk opened my eyes to who I am and why my dreams are just simply dreams.

  2. This speech was very fascinating to me because by reading the title of it made me feel somewhat negative. What grabbed my attention was that the speaker was effectively able to provide insightful and motivational tips that personally, being a college student is very helpful. In my opinion, it is very easy to blame someone else but this author does a great job in stating that there might be a problem within yourself that you are not able to see or understand. I think this is a very important skill to have because it can influence the way interactions take place in a work environment or any other place. Figuring out individual strengths and weaknesses can help a person grow and learn in the environment.
    Self-assessment is key to becoming a good leader or manager. If a person is unable to understand or work with their abilities and inabilities, then in my opinion, they are not well prepared to take on that leadership position. In addition, I was intrigued when the speaker mentioned her third tip. Personally, I always strive to keep motivating myself to do better even if I am proficient in that task. I think it is really important that as a college student there should never be a time where one decides to settle. I believe that settling is equivalent to the lack of confidence and motivation to reach a goal. Overall, I enjoyed this speech and found that it is possible to turn a negative title, like 5 ways to kill your dreams, into something positive and motivating.

  3. I enjoyed Bel Pesce’s Ted Talk, “5 ways to Kill Your Dreams” because of its truthful and valuable tips at how not to think when attempting to tackle a challenge. I think her first point, on how believing in overnight success will kill your dreams is very true. Overnight success rarely ever works, if at all. Some extremely successful businesses may even seem like an overnight success but they simply are not. Look at Facebook for example. You may think that Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook and then it blew up overnight and was worth 400 billion dollars. But he spent years mastering computer software and how to build websites and appeal to online users. Just because a concept or idea may gain popularity overnight, doesn’t mean that that individual didn’t spend many years of their life working hard. Believing someone else has your magic answer towards success is another sure way to failure. Spending your life waiting to find the answer from someone else will waste your time and probably never get where you want to go. The longer you wait for the answer to come, the deeper you will fall behind. Deciding to settle is another dangerous habit that could have a negative effect on you and your business. You may have heard successful people saying “never settle” or “never satisfied” or to never stop working. Once you get to one goal, set another and continue to get better. Pesce brings up a valuable point here saying that life is not about the destination, but about the journey. Another way of killing your dreams according to Bel Pesce, is to believe the fault is someone else’s or to blame others for your own bad luck or misfortune. Everyone goes through hardship but at the end of the day it is all about how you bounce back from the difficult times. If you blame others and feel sorry for yourself, it will make your situation worse, and at the end f the day, chances are nobody is going to help you out of your problems. To say you have something great but do not have investors, like Pesce’s example, is unfortunate, but you will surely kill your idea if you allow this to stop you. Finally, Pesce says that it is fatal to believe that all that matters is the dream itself. I agree with this point that it is even more about the journey and the experience and what you learned along the way. Once you get to the peak of your dreams, you should enjoy yourself because the hard work you put in has paid off, but this feeling will not last forever, therefore it is important to keep working hard and make new dreams.

  4. In the TED Talk “5 Ways To Kill Your Dreams” by Bel Pesce, we learn about the five ways to destroy your dreams. Everyone has goals in life, but those dreams, like Bel Pesce said “are not an overnight success.” This way of thinking out of the five was the most impactful to me. I could relate to it in two ways, swimming and building my own online website where customers can buy products from local retail shops at a more convenient price and have it shipped to their house in the quickest time span. For swimming, I remember everyone thinking that I was incredibly gifted at the sport, and that I barely had to train in order to get the results that I was showing. The truth of the matter was that I actually got up every single day for four years at 5 in the morning so that I could eat and head to the gym or pool depending on the day, before school. After school I would go do dry land calisthenics and after I would swim for 2-3 hours. Sundays were my only rest day. It was consistency that made me seem like if I had become an overnight success, but reality was different, I trained in ways others would never do. For my online business, it took me months to start seeing a enjoyable profits. All my friends thought I was wasting my time, and no one wanted to join me at first, in order to market, and spread the word. After they started to see my success, they asked if they could join, but all of them wanted the success I had achieved in just one day. I explained to them that they have to consistently read books that would stimulate the mind, so that they could be more prosperous in the business. This is when I realized that very few people will take the time to achieve their dreams. I totally agree with Bel Pesce’s five ways on how to destroy your dreams, because I am an example of someone who did what was supposed to be done and was able to achieve my dreams.

  5. I really enjoyed how real this TedTalk was. People constantly talk about their dreams and what they want to accomplish in life, but 9 times out of 10 they do nothing to work towards that goal. I’m just as guilty as the rest of the human race, life can be busy and hard and there’s a million and one excuses you can make up. The fact of the matter really is that it’s up to you whether or not your dreams come to fruition. This aspect of Bel Pesce’s talk was one of my favorite points, “Believe the fault is someone else’s”. She says, “If no one invested in your idea, if no one bought your product, for sure there is something there that is your fault.” Blaming others is such a common flaw and can often feel like the main resort after failure. However, as Bel said it is most likely a fault of your own. I loved this quote because it is so real. Take responsibility while things aren’t going well, and you will be able to take responsibility when things are going great. Not only does this better you as a leader, entrepreneur, human it also allows you to evaluate your operations and figure out where things went wrong. The last tip she gave was to not forget that life is just as much about the journey to achieve that goal as it is about the goal itself. I loved her story about the group of friends who were climbing the mountain and they go all the way to the top and start to cheer, then they look to each other and say, “ok, let’s go down.” This little story really drove the point home, to me, that best part about most of life is the journey to get there. It is such a cliché, but I definitely think it’s true and is an important thing to keep in mind and make sure you’re taking the time to appreciate that. Without these moments the goal can begin to feel overbearing and not worth it, causing you to give it up. I really enjoyed this TedTalk. It was a nice reminder that anything you want in life can be achieved, it’s just up to you.

  6. I found Bel Pesce’s TED talk on ways that people kill their dreams, and fall short of finding excess very intriguing. These helpful thoughts coming from a person who is successful, and knowledgeable on the topic made it especially interesting in my opinion. Her list of beliefs that will kill a person’s dreams (believing in overnight success, that someone else may have the answers, to settle when growth is “guaranteed”, believing that only achieving goals is what matters, and believing the fault is someone else’s), and her elaboration on those, providing her own insight, is what made the talk great. As a person who has seen people in my life both achieve and fall short of their goals, and with dreams of success of my own, I was encouraged to pay careful attention to this talk for potential answers.
    One of Pesce’s points that resonated well was presenting the falsity of the idea of an overnight success. I have been told, taught, and found through life lessons that nearly everything happens for a reason, or at least was impacted by past actions. Even though things can develop very quickly, allowing people to become successful in what seems to be overnight, often any of those events are heavily built up to by things from the past. Examples such as unnoticed help from others who have put in a lot of time, past experiences, education or training that made that success possible, or even something as simple as qualities and characteristics a person is born with can be enormous factors behind quickly achieved success. So, as I live my life, and at times hopefully experience success in a short period of time, I hope to remember to pause and reflect on what enabled me to achieve that, and to give appropriate credit to those things.
    The further I get in my life, the more I can relate to what Pesce said on the topic of appreciating the journeys and steps of life, as opposed to thinking that only achieving your goals is what matters. As she describes, the emotions and moment at the point of achieving your goals is temporary, while your life and how you appreciate the moments and steps in it are not. Throughout high school, college, having a job and other aspects of my life I have come to find that even though I may be focused on my end goal of a good GPA, my diploma, a paycheck, or other things such things at the time, upon reflection I find that what matters to me the most was the progress towards those goals. The friends and memories the made, the experience I gained, and the way I improved to reach what I wanted is often far more valuable, and impactful to my life. The ideas expressed in this talk only enforced that idea for me, and encouraged me to keep that in mind moving forward.

  7. This was a very powerful TED talk that I wished I had seen in freshman year of Seton Hall. Five different wants to kill your dream instead of five wayst to achieve it. I thought it was very interesting that she presented how to succeed in this way, it was very smart and impactful. Not many scholars and students think this way, they usually have a mind set of what steps may I take to achieve my goal.
    These five different steps that can decimate your dream but only two of the steps resonated and was very insightful. One of two steps was believed that the fault is someone else’s which was technically the fourth tip. Her quote of, “If you have dreams, it’s your responsibility to make them happen”. This is very powerful words that hit true to the heart. Nobody else can make your dreams come true but yourself. You need to put in the hard work and dedication, I truly believe in this tip. One can not blame anyone else if you want something done the right way. You have to do it yourself to achieve that goal of yours. Many citizens tend to constantly blame others when trying to succeed the citizen’s dream or goal. They overlook that the only one to blame and the only one who should have performed better toward the dream is the citizen. I really appreciate Bel Pesce using this tip to warn people on how to destroy their dreams.
    The second step that I support and I believe many others should as well is her last tip: Believe that the only things that matter are the dreams themselves. She says life is not about the dream or goal but the journey and I do strongly agree with her. The journey is a strong learning experience that will shape you as a person. The dream or goal is the endpoint that Bel Pesce says everyone thinks its an all-around happy place. It is only a monetary sensation but, her point, that everyone should instead be happy with every step is correct. I did not think about this until I watched this TED talk, she was very insightful. To enjoy every step instead of looking at it like it is a drag or the most terrible experience ever. Again, it is a learning experience that will help you grow and learn who you are. What you can do for the future.
    This entire TED talk was very insightful, I more than enjoyed watching it. I hope to see more of my peers watch this and many others as well. It will change one’s mindset on how to achieve their goal. Everyone is always so stressed and anxious about how to achieve what he or she wants. Watch this and learn from it. It is more than helpful.

  8. There are people all over the world who have different dreams that they want to accomplish financially. Maybe they want to be the next great entrepreneur or they want to do their dream job for their occupation. However, many people do not end up actually achieving these dreams. There are several different reasons why not everyone achieves this kind of success. However, I believe that the biggest reason people don’t achieve them is that they have many misconceptions about how to achieve them. In a 2014 Ted Talk Bel Pesce names 5 ways that people don’t follow their dreams in order to shed light on the misconceptions that keep people from succeeding in achieving their dreams.

    The first point she made was that overnight success stories are a myth. These stories are sensationalized and lead people to believe that they can achieve their dreams overnight. However, what those people fail to consider is the things that led to those overnight success stories. They don’t consider the amount of education that person went through in order to prepare themselves to achieve their dreams. Also, people don’t think about all the failed business ventures that an entrepreneur goes through before finding the one that helps them to succeed in achieving their dreams.

    The second point she makes is that you shouldn’t let others make your life decisions for you. This is a very true statement because you are not going to get anywhere if you simply listen to the advice that family members give you in order to try and achieve your dreams. The third point she makes is that is that it is important to never settle for mediocre success when it is possible to achieve greater success through doing more work. This goes along with the idea that people who are lazy will not succeed in achieving their dreams because it takes tons of hard work in order to achieve lofty financial dreams. The fourth point she makes is that it is a mistake to believe that the reason you didn’t achieve your dream is due to the fault of someone else. By doing this people transfer the responsibility of them achieving their dreams to other people which will surely get you nowhere. In order to succeed you need to hold yourself responsible for your own success, if you don’t succeed in achieving your dreams you should blame yourself not anything that someone else did.

    The fifth and final point she makes I believe is her most important. She says that is a mistake to believe that the only things that matters is achieving the dream itself. The reason why this is a mistake is because in order to achieve your dreams you have to through a long journey. In order to achieve your dreams you have to find joy in the multiple steps along the way of that journey to achieving your dreams. If you don’t do this you’ll fail to take tiny steps along the journey and instead focus on taking the big leaps that propel would propel you to achieving your dreams overnight. This approach will surely result in the failure of a person to achieve their in any given situation.

  9. Before watching the TED talk, I did not know what it was about. Then I started watching it, and I honestly got even more confused, took me another time watching the video for me to understand what she was saying. The one thing that really struck me was when she spoke about how dreams “are not an overnight success.” My goal at first was to be a surgeon and college is expensive so like my dad I used sports as my ticket for a free college. Now instead of them putting away from my undergraduate degree, they are putting it away for my masters and at the time what they thought was going to be med school. I eventually changed my major to be a lawyer because I feel like that is what I should be doing to help people. If it weren’t for me missing out on sleepovers, movie nights as well as girls night I would not be going to school for free. Going to school for free is probably the best thing I did I ever did for my parents. I did have to sacrifice a lot to get here though. For years I had 3-3.5 practices three times a week, and on the weekends when we were not playing, we had 5 hours practices. They would start at 5:30 in the morning so we could be the 117-degree heat, but those practices were the ones that made us stronger and grow together. Those practices were what made us 9th in the nation two years ago, and those are what separated us from the rest of the team. Unlike most softball players, I started playing when I was thirteen while other started at the age of six. Though I had my father’s athletic ability it did not take much for me to get on the same playing field as those who started years before me. Like the TED talk had said for me to get to college it was not an overnight success, I have to keep working to get to where I want. College is only the first part of the dream now I have to work to keep my grades up to then make it graduate school to later become a lawyer.

  10. Prior to listening to the TedTalk, I was little confused by the title “5 Ways to Kill Your Dreams,” but I figured like most TedTalks there was some humor to be involved within the talk. The diagram Bel Pesce showed instantly made a connection to the title and resonated within my own experiences. The Venn Diagram showed our dreams compared to the projects we never finished. Being a stubborn college student and very naïve I looked that chart and realized that I have followed the trend that it outlines. While I have a lot of ideas that sound pretty good, they always end up as unfinished projects. The way Pesce describes it is that there are 5 ways in which we kill these dreams ourselves. The first one, believing in overnight success, is actually a very common thing that happens often with projects. Especially in a digitally connected age we don’t see the one who hasn’t made it to popularity yet. We only see those who have reached a high status and we view it as an overnight success because that’s how it is portrayed. In reality we are discrediting that person because they probably did put a lot time and energy in their work. The second way, believe someone else has the answers, is more dangerous than one would really believe. When we believe that someone else knows the correct answer, we are immediately taking away our power and putting it in their hands. I end up listening to these people a lot more than I initially thought. What is good to eat in the dining hall today? Did you get this same answer for problem number four? What would be the best minor to boost my resume? It all boils down to others opinions and their thought process rather than allowing myself to think. The third way, if growth is guaranteed settle down, connects more to those who are currently finding success. The way I picture it is an elite athlete who gets drafted and decides that they no longer need to work as hard as they once did, as a result they get disbanded. The problem is that the world is expanding at such a rate that choosing to be comfortable will harm our growth if we choose to be complacent. The fourth way, believe the fault lies in someone else, is probably my favorite because it connects to the crippling effects of hubris. While ego makes us feel strong and powerful, thinking in this mentality will ultimately cause complications. The final way Pesce describes is only the goals themselves matter. My generation chases after these huge goals because we believe others will put value in them. The sad truth is that when we chase after these long-term goals and are left with no results we get discouraged and give up entirely. While Pescce laid out very simple and general problems that we all face, the problem is that we choose to follow the overnight mindset and we disappoint ourselves. In the end we are our own worst enemy and the blame falls on us for thinking this way.

  11. Bel Pesce gives a very interesting speech about how many people often cut their aspirations short by believing in a certain ideology. Bel left Brazil to study at MIT and wrote her famous book “The Brazilian Girl from Silicon Valley”. She provides five points to explain people kill their own dreams and each one provides a very introspective outlook on success. Her first tip in the downfall of your dreams is to believe in overnight success, and this is actually something I sort of thought about myself. There have always been talks about how people come from humble beginnings and shoot up into the stratosphere. You hear it about bands that started out performing in their basement, to entrepreneurs like Steve Jobs who launched Apple from his garage. However, just like Bel explains, you only the end results and never consider the steps it took to get there. I always thought that luck was one of the deciding factors of success but its actually decided by hard work and dedication. Nobody ever thinks about how many rejections and sleepless nights it took to achieve someone’s goals but believing that it just happens is a recipe for disaster. Her second point, believing that someone else has the answer, is also very important. For your own success only you have the power to make it happen and relying on others to guide you through its won’t work. Reaching your dreams means solving your own problems. She talks about how getting stuck is inevitable but it’s a part of life and you need to keep going. The third point she makes me think about the opposite of gambling. Never settle when it seems like you’ve peaked. In gambling it’s very important to know when to walk away so you don’t lose everything you’ve made but here Bel is telling us to not stop there. After every goal, you reach you should have another lined up so that you can truly reach your peak. Never settle for less when you can have more. The fourth tip is something that a lot of people do. Believing the fault isn’t yours is just a life problem in general. You go through life blaming every bad thing that happens on someone else. It’s guaranteed that some of your problems are your own fault and shifting the blame will never help you better yourself. You need to accept your mistakes and learn from them. Her last point is what I think is the most critical. So many times in my life when I’ve wanted something and got it I asked myself what was next. Bel tells us that the only way to fully enjoy our dreams is to appreciate every step that got us there. Its more about the climb than reaching the peak and I feel like that is the best way to achieve total satisfaction in life. All five of these points are traps for every up and coming person trying to achieve their goals. This is why it’s important to not look at everything at face value and think more so you get more.

  12. TED talks are usually all pretty similar in terms of what the speaker is trying to do. Usually they speak to motivate or inspire in some way. This girl, Bel Pesce did an outstanding job at telling her audience what not to do. It’s easy to tell someone what to do, but it’s always easier said than done because not everyone is under the same circumstances or situations. Bel Pesce left so much room for interpretation and for people to just use what she is saying and apply it to one’s life. The Brazilian entrepreneur gave five tips on how not to achieve your dreams. I felt like this video was perfect for me because recently I have been trying to choose a major and it has been very difficult. Personally, I can admit that I have been guilty of believing someone else has the answer, and that success happens overnight. These are two of the tips that Pesce mentioned and she said this “will destroy your dreams.” I really enjoyed listening to her speak because she gave tips for everyone, she did not just address business people or entrepreneurs. I saw this as a talk for anyone trying to make it, in any field. Although she uses terms in business such as “product” and “finding the right person with the right experience,” these ideas can still be applied to anyone’s life, even me. This video is one of those that there is a little something for everyone. Regardless of the situation you’re in, the dream is to prosper and to be the best version of yourself you can be, and this TED talk can give you insight on some of the wrong things you may be thinking/doing that one does not even notice.
    I like how the speaker brought up her own personal experience and shared with us about the time that she got into MIT and everyone thought it was an overnight success. People do not really see behind the scenes, they do not know how hard you’ve worked to be where you are now. To the outsiders, it does seem like it happens overnight and personally I have felt like it does. I am learning patience and how to change my mindset into the idea that life is a process and working hard is the only way I’ll get to my dream. It’s easy to let the mind run along into thinking that things happen overnight but it’s important to not let this overtake your own process. Bel Pesce shared valuable information in just 6 minutes and 12 seconds. Short videos like this are so easy to understand and remember and I am thankful I was able to come across this. “5 ways to kill your dreams” seemed like an odd topic at first because usually the titles are more like “5 ways to make it,” or “5 ways to reach success.” I think the fact that Bel’s TED talk is titled this way calls more attention to her video and what she has to say.
    Overall, this video was a great addition to the blog, and I am glad I came across this. As I mentioned before, this video can be helpful towards anyone who needs a reminder of what they may be doing wrong. I am currently sending this link to my family/friends so that they can also be inspired by this women who has great tips!

  13. As an entrepreneurship major at Rider University and a person who wishes to truly follow their dreams of creating their own business, I thoroughly enjoyed the presentation by Bel Pesce. Often one seeks the path in which dreams can be achieved but it can be argued that the ways in which dreams are killed it just as essential to their goal achievement process. Bel broke the 5 ways of killing your dreams down into 5 simple theories: 1) believe in overnight Success 2) believe someone else has the answers for you 3) decide to settle when growth is guaranteed 4) believe the fault is someone else’s 5) the only things that matter is the dream itself. I think each point she made was very simple in theory but often hard to apply within one’s own life. For example, believing the fault is someone else’s or out of your control can be such an easy mindset to apply when things don’t go your way. These concepts would require cognitive effort to avoid so that you are not killing your own dreams without understanding.
    What I really enjoyed about the presentation
    (besides her accent) was her suggestions to never believe in overnight success.
    When I see entrepreneurs, I fall victim to this mindset and I believe it’s
    something that many others fall to also. It is almost a cope-out option to
    believing that one is able to achieve equal success in one’s own journey. As an
    entrepreneurial studies major, I follow success stories and entrepreneurs and
    what we see on the surface makes it easy to believe their success came over
    night. We always study successful entrepreneurs but we fail to observe that
    most of these entrepreneurs have mostly been failures at one time. Their
    success has come from the grind through the ups and downs and after years of
    relentless work, they have finally peaked in their success journey. When the entrepreneur peaks, that’s when the viewer turns on the channel though, we only see the entrepreneur is the successful life and peak that they are living but we fail
    to observe the failures.
    The last major take-away that I got from this
    presentation was the idea to never settle for guaranteed success. I think this
    is such a major theory that so many companies are trying to avoid within their
    own companies. As a company grows and sustainable growth is guaranteed, it is
    easy to settle and coast through the years. But what separates your company is
    the continued pursuit of the next peak and that is something every person can
    take with them into their personal life. Next time you get a raise or promotion
    within your job, don’t settle; continue the pursuit for the next promotion or
    success within your life. Overall, I think that this is a great presentation
    that takes a very alternative perspective to the journey for success that I am
    glad I have watched so early in my career.

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